Acknowledgement..!!!

Introspection. This isn’t a lockdown trend that I’m making or following, I’m just revisiting a hobby from once upon a time. Ofcorse, this lockdown has left me enough free time to introspect myself, but then this activity has been reminded me by somebody or something.

How about having a person that one surrenders themselves to?

How about having a driving force that pushes one to only excel in life?

How about choosing to see the simple desires instead of building castles in the air?

How about having a life full of answer and no questions?

The list of these questions (rather rhetoric) are endless. There certainly is some kind of joy and satisfaction in choosing to be happy.

I find them in my niblings - the way they talk and feel, how honest are these toddlers when they blow me a kiss over a video call and express that they love me and miss me. I find some satisfaction in their honest emotions and then I want to be the good man that they think I am.

I choose to be cheerful and happy for one person that I have in my life. I’m a treat to this person when I’m not nagging and complaining. How easy it is for me to be better because it is for this person. Yes I love this person rather too much that I’d overlook my chaos, this definitely isn’t any pretence but a choice. Here, my point is happiness certainly is a choice.

Too many things to take care off and choosing to be happy is the easiest one. Finding reasons to be happy could be little tricky sometimes; and I have found my way into this person. I choose to see this person happy that will come from me being that way. Reciprocation.

When one chooses to be happy, the happiness comes from all the places. From taking a stroll to launching rockets - every kind of activity will give atleast one reason to be grateful and indeed happiness. I reckon acknowledgement, introspection and reciprocation could help us in our decision to be better and happier..!!!

- Manish R. Mehta (Mania)

 Blogpost: 30.05.2020

 10:50 PM

Incomplete..!!!

Penning it down..
Making me frown..

Relationships becoming heartless..
And feelings meaningless..
Is there any point waiting for happiness..???
The wait just seems to be endless..

This is not for the world..
But the one, who was my world..

My fate stabbed in the back,
When my girl turned her back..
My destiny got jacked,
When my girl's bags were packed..
My happiness got jinxed,
And her GOOD-BYE axed..

She just left and I could do nothing..
And she disappeared while waving..
I could feel myself collapsing..
But could do nothing..

Life hasn't moved on after that day..
Dreaming of her each day..
But she would never feel that way..

I feel so incomplete without her..
I can't erase what we once were..

The heart in me is just not fine..
I was always hers but she was never mine..!!!

-Manish R. Mehta

Be Wherever, Be Forever..!!!

Yes, I miss you..
And can think about nothing but you..
I'm trying to move on..
Still I can feel you from dusk to dawn..

We've been together since ages..
Without you, the script of my life are blank pages..
You know my every breathe and emotion..
Why does this life have to bring a partition..?

Without you..
Whom would I talk with?
Whom would I laugh with?
Who would flea away my blues?
Who would make me blush with those cute I Love You's..?

I'm so gona miss you bad..
Your eyes, your smile and holding your hand..

(Still writing)

When you wouldn't be there..
I'd be lost,
I wouldn't even be able to find myself anywhere..
To me,
You Be Wherever, Be Forever..!!!

-Manish R. Mehta

Asking You Out..!!!

I spend my day with you..
Either talk or with the thought of you..
With you I always fool around..
But I want to ask you out..

Will she dine with me..???
How about a coffee..???
I prepare myself to convey you this..
But I lose myself when I see your beautiful eyes..

Am I shy or am I nervous..???
I can't decide, that's the reason why asking you out is such a fuss..

Would she agree to come out..??
On my modesty, will she doubt..??

Ahh.. My head and heart are amidst a fight..
Can I take you out tonight..??

-Manish R. Mehta

Lost In Own Life..!!!

Looks like all good things of life has come to an end..
All that is left, is to miss them and regret..

Happy to have made memories to cherish..
But what's the point if they don't replenish..

Nothing lasts forever is so terribly true..
And good things in life are very few..

Everything that one doesn't want to lose is withdrawn by life..
And the pain is as bad as cutting your veins with a knife..

At this point, life is so worthless..
Where even your reflection turns down the face..

Than you remember what you were once upon a time..
Yes, once upon a time..
When everything was fine..
When even death would be so happy to dine..
When there were no worries..
When there were no sorry's..

But now, it's like a reality check..
And the happy life is having a fuck..
The only thing that we're able to say is 'why?'..
Why??
Why me..??
Why is every small thing such a big deal..??
Why doesn't anyone understand what I feel..??
Why am I so lost in my own life..??

Why am I so lost in my own life..??
But, life is very beautiful..
Everything that happens has a reason..
It's not an elastic jungle..
We're capable enough to untie the mingle..

It's just the mindset..
We aren't actually upset..
We've turned down our self liberty..
By giving the name of troubles and worry..

You live only once..
Make the most of it..
Luck definitely is favoring..
That's the reason why you're living..

-Manish R. Mehta

Broken..!!!

I've fallen, bruised and injured, but didn't realise what is pain...
Unless I was broken...

I was hurt, but there wasn't a mark or a scar...
Than I consoled myself by saying, got to move on, have to travel far...

Nothing is perfect nor all the desires are fulfilled...
Thoughts remain thoughts forever and nothing is achieved...

The strengths are giving up, weaknesses are getting bold...
Another myth of life unfolds...

Everything that was daily has now become once upon a time...
Will this clock of life ever rewind...

(still writing)

I wish life was a song, melodious and soothing...
Because whatever stays forever is always pleasing and only belief is just fooling...

-Manish R. Mehta

Here I Go Again..!!!

I have no clue what I'm about to write..
Hopefully, I end up with an appreciating recite..
Amidst all the fights in my head..
Here I go again with my pen and the writing pad..

It's about thoughts of my writing passion..
About somebody's influence..
It's about my switch over to whisky..
It's a part of my life & my business being risky..

I miss my close ones..
And feel the missing blossoms..
Heading towards the dead-end..
W.T.F. why did all this happened..

When the ethanol gets in..
The catharsis factor blooms within..

Life betrays yet again..
Destiny is again to be blamed..
The memories go in vain..
And the soul feels so ashamed..

Nobody to speak to..
Whatever it may be, what is it got to do..

The agenda of life dumped in vain..
Here I go again..!!!

-Manish Mehta

p.s.: :( :'(

Fantastic Four..!!!

This is about us brothers...
Pankaj, Summit, Tarun & Manish - the family buggers...

The age difference between each of us is by one...
And neither of us demand anything else but fun...
Our siblings & parents call us the pain...
But God gifted us to them, perhaps the best that they could gain... [:P]

There's something about each of us...
Pankaj, the laughter...
Summit, the charmer...
Tarun, the party starter...
Manish, their elder brother...

Friendship defines our brotherhood...
And we call each other dude...
Always setting the best mood...
This is what we do since our childhood...

We take care of each other's problems...
May it be girlfriend(s) or crisis on financials...

All of us have a big heart...
We neither cheat nor fraud...
And we've pledged that we'll make our parents proud...

The relationship between us is very transparent...
We obey each other, otherwise very adamant...

If a girl sees us together...
She'd be confused to pick the one out of four...
Less that we would care for her...
Instead we'd ask each other to go & hit on her... [:P]

I really thank Almighty for what he's given to me...
I have all the love, luck & happiness in these three...

We demand nothing less than more...
We're the FANTASTIC FOUR..!!!

- Manish Mehta

I WISH I HAD A VALENTINE..!!!

Ok, I apologize for what I wrote last time…
Today is the day, and I wish I had a valentine…

A couple makes the two people so perfect…
Both have their positives & negatives, but they respect…

The caring for each other,
The sharing of emotions,
The understanding of conditions…
This is what defines valentine’s…

But I have none…
And I strongly wish I had one…

Somebody for who I’d die for…
Somebody for whom my love is pure…
Will all this just be my fantasy…?
Guys this feeling is making me crazy…!

Destiny shall take me its way…
Where I hault at my princess, wishing her Happy Valentine’s Day…

I promise that every happiness embraces her…
And to make this true I’d even fight a war…

But where is this girl who rules my dreams…
And with her thought, in excitement, my heart screams…

I want to say I Love You…
But girl, where are you…?
Come out of my fantasy…
Come in real…
I promise my love will be worthy…
And I’ll be a dear…

So the status of being single – I quarantine…
I wish I had a valentine…

- Manish Mehta

Single on Valentine's..!!!

I’ve been single forever…
And there hasn’t been any day, when I enjoy never…
What is so special about this date…?
You waste your time & energy hunting for a special mate for this date…

The hunt is for the oomph that you fancy about the opposite sex…
But what’s the point…
Instead just chill and relax…
Dancing, boozing and having a weed joint… [:P]

The idea of such celebration should be collective…
That is in a group of friends who are so active, indeed reactive… [:P]

The couple’s on this day appear nothing less than the kindergarten kids…
Constantly holding each other’s hands, as if they’ve been instructed to walk in two’s…
They’re frequently displaying their affection in public…
Sometimes with hugs and sometimes with a lick… [:P]

Wearing same shade clothing,
Holding hands,
Looking into the eyes,
Not speaking a word,
Communicating in the sign language,
This is all that I notice…
Which makes me gag with laughter and I need some water with ice…

We singles live with pride…
Because we don’t carry chicks in mom avatar on the motor bike ride…
The mom avatar in the chic is extra caring…
Mushy but nagging…
That stresses the guy and he feels like fagging…

All this doesn’t mean that we singles envy the couples…
Wishing everyone a Happy “ ”Day, just like the usual ones..!!!

p.s.: There is nothing so fab about the entire myth created for 14th feb.

- Manish Mehta

W.T.F..!!!

It's 2 in the night, and I can't hit the bed...
And I just can't stop saying W.T.F...

I'm so bored...
I'm so lame...
My eyes are red, and my head is to be blamed...

My head is thinking about what happened in the past...
And my heart is beating for what tomorrow is holding me for future...
I wish if all the happiness of yesterday long lasts...
Thinking about my love, makes me appear immature...

The reason for being awake is somebody...
And now when I'm dumped, I say it's nobody...
And I can't express what I'm feeling, to anybody...

How do I ask you to get back to me...
When leaving me, made you feel so happy...
For your love, I just wasn't worthy...

I have nothing to complain...
The reason is simple and plain...
What you deserve is the BEST...
And I'm nothing, but just like the rest...

Hope you discover wonders in your man...
I'll be forever your fan...
Every moment spent with you was awesome...
I feel content knowing that I atleast had someone...

Lost into a fantasy...
Wondering if you'll be back...
But No, you won't, bloody - W.T.F...

I need to move-on...
I need to stop missing you...
I need to think practically...
I need to convince myself that you don't belong to me...

The sadness doesn't lie in losing you...
It's the fear of losing the touch with you...
Nobody has touched my emotions and heart like you...
How will I manage without you...?

About me, you don't worry...
For choosing you always for my poem, I'm sorry...
But I just love you alot...
And hence you rule my blog...

I repeat don't worry about me...
I'm just a little crazy...

Alright, now I'll have to end...
It's now 3 in da night and I still can't hit the bed...
And I'm chanting W.T.F. - W.T.F. - W.T.F...

- Manish Mehta

Loving You & Letting You Go..!!!

When I look into your eyes, I dream...
When you hold my hand, I wish..!
When you talk, I smile...
When you're silent, I admire...
When you're sad, I go mad...
When you're happy, I'm glad...
When you walk, i want to be your company...
When you call out my name, I fall in love...


But what's the point..?
I feel it all and you don't...


There is this emotional difference...
But I wish that you too feel the same for me atleast once...


I LOVE YOU.., without any doubt...
And I wish I could say it loud...
But I'm left with no option...
You loving me was not a condition...


What i feel for you is all immaterial...
Because, you'll always be in my fantasy and not real...


I'll pretend to be a stranger...
And act as if i knew you never...


Pretence is only thing left to do...
Perhaps it may help me move...


Eventually I'll have to see you go...
Because you deserve more...


And when you go...
I'll be all alone...


- Manish Mehta

At The Moment..!!!

The story... is it all over... Or is it not?
Does it have an end or not?

Those moments...
Those pleasures...
Those conversations...
That giggles...
Will we have more of them... or is that about it!?

Just can’t express a thing, that’s because there is a misunderstanding...
It isn’t a big deal...
I hope you feel...

A little that you understand...
It’s just an optimism on which I stand...

We’re away...
But I don’t want it that way...

I’ll be your fantasy...
Because I know how to keep you happy...

I can just go on and on writing the plea...
But it’s worthless...
Because... later I will edit and subsequently delete...

Just give me a little time...
Don’t be annoyed...
I shall get back...
And we shall sway again...

Just working on proving a point...
Hope not to disappoint... understand me...
And forgive and get over on “what it is, but actually not”

-Manish Mehta

Living???

Living in darkness...
Surrounded by fear...
People all around me...
None I feel are near...

Living without purpose...
Waking to no one...
Feeling the emptiness...
Memories there are some...

Living day by day...
Wishing someone would stop in...
Make sure I’m alive...
Even to make you smile once they arrive...

Living in purpose without purpose...
Day by day...
Is easy to make me think...
My life is a ship about to sink...

-Manish Mehta

That's About It..!!!

My life was going great...

Complete happiness what it was...

Then you came in like a strong storm...

And tear it all down...

Ending it all now...

I’m ready for this to be over...

It should have been from the start...

My body just can’t take it anymore...

Don’t you know you’re everywhere...

Why I can’t make it stop...

It should have been done long ago...

How can you take perfection...

And turn into such huge mess...

Of harmful words and this and that...

I wish where i am standing is miles from where you are...


- Manish Mehta

Why???

I’m so damn tired of hating you...

I can’t recognise the burning fire inside of me...

For the blue blames in your eyes...

You love like you mean it but your heart ain’t there...

How did you learn not to feel...

Pretend that you don’t care...

Do you go home each night and cry yourself to sleep...

Thinking of this and wasting your time on something that you can’t be...

-Manish Mehta

Come & Go & Leave..!!!

Sitting at the shore...
Thinking more & more...

It's not about me, but about you,
Infact us indeed...

All that you were, everything that you are...
"My world"
Which made my soul a happy bird...

It's winter now & the ice is too hard to crack...
But I want you back...

You left & I Didn't ask the reason...
And now that I've made the confession..
Hope you undestand what I've been goin through..
I really need you, but you won't give a flying fuck about what it was between me and you..

Avoid all this that I keep writing..
Because this is the way that I feel you..

But, why don't you just go away?!!
And let my life sway its way..

(to be continued)

-Manish Mehta

I'm Sorry..!!!

Nothing was going my direction…
Upon that I made an erroneous declaration…

I know that it hurt you…
And towards my sorry your heart won’t move…

I had to confess and clear…
And had no intentions to prick you my dear…

This must have hurt you to the core…
And you would never speak to me for sure…

You’re not understanding me was my complain…
It was indeed my misunderstanding which is making me insane…

Whatever you did was for my good…
And I feel like a loser on spoiling your mood…

Please forgive me on being so silly…
And we’d end this forever happily, hopefully…

With these last words, I’m going to miss you forever…
And I promise you that I’ll hurt you never…

Sorry..!!! Is all that I can say…
And for all this mess swearing words from you should me on my way…

I hope to get a reply on this…
For which I beg you please…

Sorry..!!!

- Manish Mehta

Can't Move On..!!!

Walking through the road…
This gets me into the nostalgic mode…
I still gaze at the window, when I pass by that road…

Looking for someone who blushes and smiles…
And on that path I’ve travelled miles…

In disappointment I always leave…
Having found nobody, I leave with a belief…

Belief of, “either” someday you’ll be at the window and ask me to take you along…
And we would walk on the rhythm of a beautiful song…

Belief of, “or” someday you’ll be at the window waving me a forever good bye…
And I’d leave when you tell me the reason why…

And if you don’t, I’ll be still forever…
I’ll leave never…

How can I move on without knowing the reason...?
Where an instance in me believes that you’ll be back with a beautiful season…

Your first name with my last is what I desire…
But your “No”, will put me through hell and fire…

I’ve spoken all my fantasy…
With this feeling I feel so mushy…

See… It’s been so long…
And I haven’t been able to move on…

- Manish Mehta

Flying With Your Thoughts..!!!

I’m sitting at the airport, fagging on a smoke…
I want to see you soon, and I can’t wait anymore…

You were lucky, and you please always be…
Thanks to you I’m in a glory…

The two minute conversation flew away the blue…
And I feel like getting back to you…

I think I’m getting carried away by your courtesy…
But I just can’t help this feeling is so sexy… [;)]

After a long winter, your hug did the trick…
With warmth and content my heart really melted…

You’ll be swearing when you read this…
But don’t be surprised, when I say this Mania hasn’t changed a bit…

Here, I’ve been giving you the hint…
I had a nice time, and would cherish this through the endless time…

Hope you smile and giggle at this gesture…
And you have all the right to call Mania a painful bugger…

Now that there is a call to board the flight…
And I have to end this…
Let me know if you had a nice time…!!!

- Manish Mehta

End..!!!

The day you belong to someone else...

I'll celebrate in the glory of having you once in my life...

For making my every moment blossom...

Filling all the emptiness of me with happiness and pleasure...

Giving a feeling of being special and important...

Finally for being so close to my heart or shall I mention in my heart...

Wishing you all the happiness of my life...

This is for the reason for me to be content...

I would surrender you then - But the fantasy and the past will never leave any instance in me...

THE END, FINALLY...!!!

-Manish Mehta

The Feeling, The Meaning..!!!

I’ve never felt this way...
Such love...
Such meaning...
Wanting you to hold me...
As we get older and older...
What can I say...
I love you so...
I’m as a wounded dove...
Pathetic and weak...
Needing your love...
Needing your arms...
To hold me tight...
Because your love is the only love...
That has the right...
To hold me tight...
To make me feel right...
So hold me tight...
Release our love...
Heal me right...
For our love is strong...
And if we do this right...
Babes, all will know...
That with our love...
We’re up for a fight...

-Manish Mehta

When I Die..!!!

Please don’t shed a tear...
Because you make me do the same...
Except I can see yours, and hide mine...

You’re not barring me forever...
You are planting my soul...
Just like an apple seed...
I will be grown up indeed...

Its time for me to travel...
Go to places i haven’t seen...
Because of my busy routine...
One thing you got to promise...
Don’t forget our good times...

Its not over...
Its not a lie...
My spirit will be around, a happy butterfly...
Please don’t question when I die...

I am just going to the endless side...
Waiting for you to arrive...
For our love to shine...

If you think about me...
I will always be near...
I will be waiting for you to join...
I have saved us a spot here...

Its not over...
Its not a lie...
Please don’t question, when I die...

-Manish Mehta

Cya Soon..!!!

The moments are so very few..
& if I could only stop you..

Just hang in..
& let me keep you admiring..

The nice times that we spent, Will now get silent..
& only seeing you will make me content..

Knowing that your leaving in no time..
Nothing in me is going fine..

I’m going restless..
But its all so pointless..

Holding you close was such a pleasure..
Also was those coffees & conversations..

All the good times will now slip away..
& will be left with the memories of yesterday..

Hoping that we do not forget the memories that we made…

Understand the meaning..
Alas! My feeling..

A longer stay is what my gut wants to believe..
But your leaving & I don’t want you to leave..

- Manish Mehta

Decision...

What it is... Is actually not understood…
On the boulevard of dilemma I’m stood

How do I get over her?
Losing her? That’s the fear

Shall I execute a genuine split…?
And bury the cowardness guilt

Shall I live with her for the time being…?
And rest of the life just continue seeing…
Excuse by saying I’m enjoying the moment…
Leaving nothing to comment

Not trying to impress her, but she misunderstands…
Annoying me she doesn’t understand…
Contrary there is nothing to prove…
And create a fake groove

Love keeping her happy, smiling and high…
BUT WHY?

I do this not on purpose, just happen to do it…
Doesn’t matter just expecting a little bit

Why do I have to justify my gestures?
She? The purpose of my life… My venture

Leaving her to live on her decisions…
Whilst she ignores my abstract lessons…

May it be what and no matter what…?
Unperturbed this anima, waiting for her nod…
When receive, Amen My Lord!

Keeping one thing in my mind because…
Because who am I to invade your Decision.

- Manish Mehta